beauty in the ordinary.

Hi friends.

I'm sad to admit that I've been quite the unfaithful blogger as of lately. :)  Life here as been full and when I've had the time to write down my thoughts, I've hardly known where to start. My heart is so full of God's goodness and faithfulness to me here!

I can't tell you how content I am here. With every passing day, I feel more at home. More alive. More confident. More expectant of what my Jesus will do. And more overwhelmingly grateful for being placed here. I went to Taipei a couple weeks ago and I found myself missing Hualien. Taipei is so exciting and loads of fun! But I was so excited to get back when I got on my train home. It just feels so right here! And as much as I love exploring new places, I'm a sucker for being home. :)

It's Wednesday night here and the week has gone by so fast so far. I've loved this week and I love my students for the week. Their eagerness to learn is rare and so wonderful. They've been a blast to teach. One of my 4th grader boys this week has told me everyday at least once, "Teacher, you are beautiful!". And he says it with the biggest smile he can give. :) And another one of them practically purposed marriage to me in the lunch room today. :) It was the cutest thing I've ever seen. I have so many adorable memories of things my students have done or said this week. All 32 of them are precious. And pretty dang good Chinese teachers too. One little boy especially has taken it on himself to teach me as much Chinese as I teach him English. And even if I repeat after them exactly making sure I'm mirroring their tones perfectly, they still laugh or smile because I'm off on something. But they're patient teachers and more then willing to work with me. ;)

I love teaching. I really, really love it. :) And everyday I ask myself why I love it so much, only leaves me in awe of a passion God has put me that I sometimes can hardly even understand or explain. When I walk out of the classroom after a class period, I'm overwhelmed that God would use me in this way. That He would chose me, for such a time as this, for His Kingdom. I have the opportunity to impact these precious kids and to impact them big. Because the Father's love for them is so much bigger then me. The potential I have in each of their lives as a result of the place I am put in is incredible! And not because of who I am, but because of who Jesus is and how He's chosen to use me. It's humbling and an overall beautiful gift. :)

Last week when Friday rolled around and the goodbyes I'd have to face that day where looming in the back of my head, I sought the God who gave me the desire and ability to love those kids. I prayed and longed for Jesus to be my strength as I watched every last one of the kids I had spent a full week loving and being loved by, get on that bus and go back to each of their separate lives. Having no idea if I'd ever be able to see those gorgeous smiles again or hear the excitement in their voices when they'd beg for me to sit at their table in the lunch room, the pain was almost too much to bear. Last week's kids were so special to me. But I think I'm beginning to realize that I'll probably say that at the end of each week. :)

(they love my hair) :)

The hugs (oh the many hugs), the cheek kisses, the goodbye tears and the "teacher, i love you"s flooded the hour before they left. 

In one of the morning class breaks during their Chinese class, I walked down the way to the classroom. Before I could step inside 

though, a flood of students came and threw their hands around my waist. Each one of them was in tears. As I hugged each one, I 

gave one of the Chinese teachers I work with a confused look with hopes that she'd explain the sudden outburst. She explained to me

that the teachers had talked in Chinese class about the short hours they had left here with usand how they should show their gratitude 

to each of the teachers who had taught them this week. She said as soon as the students were faced with the reality of leaving that 

day, most of the class burst into tears. I stood their, brushing the tears off their wet cheeks and loving on them.As I waved and blew 

kisses as they did the same through the bus window as they drove away later that day, I was amazed at how deeply they love. Some 

of them come from homes with parents who care more about their grades then they do their child. Some of their parents tell them 

they must cheat on a test of it means they'll get a better grade...but they of course can't get caught doing it.And so many of them 

come from homes where you have to somehow earn so much of the love and affection you get from the others in that home. 

Especially your parents.

When I was here in January, God showed me so clearly why He had called me here. He's called me here to love with a love they 

can't earn. A Jesus love that is a gift you can in no elicit or gain on any merit of your own. A love that's perfect...that looks on the 

unlovely and cares about the broken. That sees beauty in the ordinary and potential where everyone else sees disaster. Isn't that how 

Jesus loved? No one else saw in someone what Jesus always saw in an individual. No one looked at insecure Peter and called him 

"the rock" on which the Church would be built on. But Jesus did. He spoke destiny where most people spoke judgement and He 

imparted life where most saw no life worth imparting.

I'm learning the beauty of love. Of course I've always known love was beautiful....but never in the way I've come to know it since I 

moved to Taiwan. And every week I'm amazed at how these precious children, who some of which have hardly known what it's like to 

be truly and deeply loved, can love with everything in them. It's not uncommon for a student to run up on the first day and say with 

all smiles, "Teacher! I love you!". They don't stop to think about it. They just love. Even if they have little to no guarantee of that 

love being returned. And then there is me, who is blessed beyond measure with such beautiful love surrounding me. And yet I so often 

see the ashes before I see the beauty in someone. I withhold love because I might not see a good enough reason to give it. And when 

it's a situation where the love I give might not be returned, I make sure I'm up for the challenge before truly giving that love. Oh how 

much I have to learn from these kids...

"Let me love and not be requited. Let me learn, oh Lord, You are my reward.." (watchmen nee)

As i smiled and looked once more at their beautiful faces as they drove away, I had one thing on my heart. As my heart cried out for 

them I asked Jesus to pursue their hearts with His love. That's what they'll remember from this day on. They might not remember a 

word of English they learned this week, the teacher that taught them those words or anything else. But the love of the Father that 

was revealed to them in that week is what will forever change their lives. They are gifts I am given to teach and to love and as I give 

them back to the Father as they leave every week, I trust that the God who gave Himself for them with a love that is so beyond what 

I could ever give will guard, protect, pursue, captivate, compel and awaken their hearts everyday they're given. That's the faithfulness 

of the God we serve. How amazing is that? :)